Was about to enjoy a good nights' sleep last night,

when i received this msg :

"Hey captain. Thanks uh. Today got training you didn't even tell me."

don't claim to forgive me for forgetting to send the relay msg

when u use SUCH a sarcastic tone to question me

also never did i put the blame entirely on u.

i just merely stated that if YOU could be so irresponsible

as to not come for training without telling even a SINGLE person abt it,

then to me...it would only be because u don't even care abt training

take last wed's training for instance, i DID relay the msg

but in the end, u STILL didn't turn up for training...

u didn't tell anyone abt it either.

i had to ask u! *think

also months before,u told me u wanted to quit cheer...

why? because u were sacred of chaang

scared of joining the competition.

i persuaded u NOT to quit but u still wanted to

so in the end i said ok...but please rmb to inform mdm lai & chaang

but u didn't...u kept dragging this matter

u didn't officially quit...u just didn't turn up for training

as i suppose u assumed u have quited.

then just weeks before the competition

u just suddenly appear and claim u want to join back the team

to go for competition? >.<

after which(competition),

u yet again did not turn up for training?

tell me this is NOT taking the team for granted...

don't claim to love the sport when u can do such a thing.

please don't accuse me of being irresponsible

when u urself are.

also it does hurt when u say i shouldn't be the captain

& that i shouldn't lead because of my attitude.

what attitude are u trying to imply?

yes i did say that 'if u didn't bother, why should i(captain) bother'

but can u understand why i said it?

how issit u want me to be responsible for UR attendance

when u urself aren't responsible for ur own attendance?

its is UR responsibility to tell me that u're not coming

for training in the first place

don't expect me to keep asking(which i did)

why u didn't turn up.

& if i were to really not care,

i would not have asked u(or anyone else)

why issit u're not here for training.

i would have just gave up on the team and leave

but the thing is i do care! i do care for the whole team

i do go around asking abt the absentees.

& i go for all trainings unless i have a reason for not going

and the reason is told to the other members of the team.

everyone else in the team did that too...

i just forgot u didn't know about training

since u weren't at friday's training.

& i already told u sorry

i didn't neglect u...

U neglected the team.

by the way, i'll like to add that

i'm sure all of the senior members can sense that

our team spirit is dying out.

but all of us still attend trainings...

we didn't give up

so don't use the lacking of team spirit as an excuse

for not wanting to come for training.

don't put the blame on the cliques in our team as well

cause team spirit can still be formed

with or without cliques inside the team

i suppose spectrum does have a few cliques as well

but yet...their team spirit is still strong

so why can't we be like them too?

......................................................................................................

YAY~

We GOT IN semi-finals!!!!!!!!!!!!! =DDD

whooo~ cheers for SYPHORS!!! =DDD

so proud of my team now... xD

yes, cause in the end, we still made it =)))

WELL DONE PEOPLE!

(*due to laziness & slow actions, shall update the pics tmr)

SPECIAL THANKS to those who supported me!

to CAROL: my darling BESTIE! =D

forever there for me when i need her. thanks babe! =)))

to JOANNA: thanks for the bag of goodies & the encouragements u gave!

to SARAH: for encouraging me, accompanying me

& bitching with me! hahahaha

to STEF: for that cute little encouragement card =)

to DUMBASS: thanks for cheering me up & the 'moral support' lol

to MY FAMILY! :

for coming down to support me & consoling me when i 'fell'

to ALL OTHERS:

sorry if i didn't mention ur names.

do note that that doesn't mean u're forgotten...

its just that i'm kinda forgetful =Pp

LOVES to all...thanks for everyone's support!

it means lots to me! knowing that u all care! =D

THANKS PEOPLE!!!

.................................................................................

Alrite, for starters, the past few weeks had been tiring for me

i keep falling asleep even when i'm suppose to be doing homework la

grr...which also means that i don't have time to blog alr

sorry people for my Oh-So-Dead blog! haha

shall try to update regularly. =)))

now for some overdued pics =)))

taken on 14 Apr, Mon:

went out with my dear bitchy sarah! hahaha

we went to make the cheer shirts(like finally) at Queensway

but first, we actually went Ikea shopping!

OMG! i made GREAT bargains k? lol

bought a ceramic cup for only 35cents!

& 3 metal polka dots bought $3! =)))

& plus, we took loads of pictures there =Pp

after which...i went to KTV @ town to meet my class peeps =)

its hosted by her as she's leaving us soon =(((

we had a MAJOR singing session which was damn FUN!

hahas ok...so maybe my new class ain't that bad after all =)))

there are like hell alot of great singers!

argh~ i'm like soooo deprived now lol

*but still, i freaking love & miss my old class. 07S12!

caught the last 190 bus home tgt with Bengz, Wee Hao & Nadia

(*we ran like CRAZY to catch it! lol)

..................................................................................

oh yes...met my Honey on thur,

went to eat DURIAN with her! hahahahas damn nice la

damnit i miss my Sec School Mates.

the joy & laughter we shared will NEVER be forgotten

=( just hope that u girls feel the same!

& that we'll be able to meet up real soon to re-enjoy those moments =)))

.............................................................................

Going to 'meet' *him tmr

feelings are so mixed now...

both anxiety & excitement

i wonder what i'll say/do when i finally meet u again

will i be able to comfort u if needed?

will we 'touch'?

will my tears come because of urs?

will i be able to stand strong in front of u?

will things ever be the same?

will my feelings alter? =(

*thank god, u're going with me girl.

-END-

S'pore Kindness Movement aka SKM(cheerleading competition)

is COMING!!!!!

it on 12 Apr(THIS SAT) @ 1pm

@ Toa Payoh West CC! =D

do come & support people! =)))

...................................................................................................

ok first...freaking sorry for the 'long long one time' updates.

been VERY busy the past few days training...

also because my life just SUCKS now...

so not much point blogging over sad stuffs -.-

but then again...2day post would be to express anger instead.

Ok. I FREAKING CAN'T STAND people spreading FAKE RUMORS!

like seriously...i think these people are damn childish &

are inconsiderate as they never spare a thought for others.

last week, *he msg me...asking if i was with another guy -.-

like wdh! is it WRONG? to go out with/date guy friends

now that i'm freaking SINGLE?! -.-

like americans can do it. they can date freely!

so why can't i?! must i be like steady with that guy before

going out with him?!

singaporean's minds are SO old fashion!

anw *he said that others have told him that i was seen

holding hands with a guy at bukit batok inter. -.-

like hello~ which of ur FUCKING eyes saw that.

*yes i said fuck & no i'm NOt gonna slap myself for it

as that person deserved it!!!!!

i admit. i met my guy friend for dinner that day

but it was at freaking BUKIT GOMBAK!

we WEREN'T even near Bukit Batok Interchange

so how can ur ALREADY OBVIOUSLY BLIND EYES

see ME, HOLDING HANDS with a GUY?!

like common...even rumors have to make sense ok?

whoever u are. i know u! just watch out! FUCKER~

*this is specially for YOU!

pissed off~

i'm not mad at u...its that guy i hate!

Had training at NTU 2day.

hais damn pissed with myself 2day

i wasn't able to do any of my stunts well

i dunno if it was the medicine that 'pulled me down'

or just that i nv eat lunch -.-

but i sure felt damn damn weak during training

had a big headache & was feeling soooo restless =(((

thank goodness the headache went away.

but it was just after training -.- so also no use

hais Competition is approaching as each day passes

& we're still NOT prepared...

do seriously hope all those who are injured will get better soon

a team is never completed without its members

but then again...can we still call ourselves a team?

so many problems have arise

causing us not to support each other anymore,

causing us to say hurtful things to each other...

its so stupid, look closely & u'll realise it...

I miss the old team where everybody just had fun

& where everybody still truely cared for each other.

.....................................................................................................

Pictures taken last Tue.

Kelly.Vivian.Dawn

my smile look weird here haha

candid.

notice* she looks sad in these pictures

haha must be because we're better looking! haha jk! =Pp

she's gonna be an Art teacher.

isn't that cool? =)

tired.never so down.its hard.unmovable

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH~

HATE being SICK! =(((

omg! 2008 is seriously NOT a good year for me

so many 'bad' things have happened,

& its dampening my spirts

can't be the happy-go-lucky girl anymore

=((( so pissed at myself for feeling down easily now...

hais was reminded of *him again ytd,

reminded of how u aren't in my life...

you were my movie partner...but now i have no one

baby...i miss u

I so HATE LIFE right now.

whats left?

seriously NOTHING!

i have NO motivation to go school,

let alone motivation to study. F**K IT!

hais You aren't there to comfort me anymore.

They aren't there to make me laugh

& look forward to school anymore.

things are so DIFFERENT now & i HATE it!
Everything that i love is just NOT there anymore.

it's like its slowly fading away

& i there's nothing i can do about it =(

Loss & Helpless

wearing a fake smile everyday

its getting tiring

how long more will it last till?

.......................................................................................................

might be going to the hospital tmr =(

hais seriously hope i'll be well again soon

so badly want to train...competition is nearing

& i DON'T want to give up!

but sometimes, its just so goddamn hard.

i miss them.i miss joy.i miss laughter.i miss happy.i miss baby.i miss you.